sprousebroscodethumbnailThey have nukes, but no potty training!

DailyIndia.com reports that it’s not unusual for people in India to pinch a loaf in public, but the country’s Development Minister, Raghuvansh Prasad Singh, is hopeful the tradition of going to the bathroom (number 2) will come to an end someday. “Open defecation is slowly losing popularity in rural India , and the government is doing all efforts to end this for all by 2012,”says Singh. “In Haryana and Punjab , people are not poor, what they lack is awareness.” Awareness? We think that warm feeling between your toes and really bad smell of your neighbor’s crap on your feet might give you a clue.

He pooped in a lunchroom bowl and doesn’t even live in India !

Two High School students in Verona , Virginia , bet another student $15 dollars that he wouldn’t take a crap in a lunchroom bowl. Eager to earn some money, the hard-working boy took a soup bowl into the bathroom, filled it with his poo, came back into the cafeteria, and put the foul dish on a conveyer belt that rolls into the kitchen. That’s when the sh** hit the fan! The boy who defecated into the bowl was expelled and the two morons who paid him got suspended for three days. Then two more kids got suspended when they pushed another kid who had cursed at a cafeteria worker. But that’s not all! The worker got charged with assault and battery when she tried to break up the pushing fight between the kids. Finally, four cafeteria workers quit their jobs. We can’t imagine why, it sounds like a great place to work, if you don’t mind the smell.

Teacher tries to kill bug, loses part of his hand

In Ventura , California , a teacher tried to squash a bug with a paperweight that he kept on his desk. The paperweight was a 40 mm shell that the teacher, Robert Colla, found while hunting several years ago. Colla didn’t think the old weapon would ever explode so he kept it. Colla was instructing 20 to 25 students when he picked up the 5-inch-long shell and tried to smash a bug with it. That’s when the shell blew part of his right hand off and burned him really bad. But what we really want to know is; what happened to the bug?

Old man threatens 7-Eleven workers with chainsaw

Workers at a 7-Eleven in Tokyo repeatedly told a 70-year-old man to stop reading the store’s magazines, unless he was going to buy them. The old geezer left, returned with a chainsaw, and shouted, “I’ll cut you to pieces!” While the frightened people called the police, the angry senior put his chainsaw down and continued reading the mags. When the cops arrived, they found the saw still running and arrested the elderly gentleman. He should have plenty of time to read now… in jail.

12-year-old boy gums up painting worth over a million dollars

During a field trip to the Detroit Institute of Arts, a boy stuck a wad of gum on a Helen Frankenthaler painting “The Bay,” a 1963 work worth 1.5 million dollars. Reports say that the gum-smacking smart aleck put the chewed Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice Gum on the art piece’s lower left corner. While it didn’t stick permanently to the canvas, the sticky goo did leave a quarter-size stain. To clean the painting, the museum is now researching the chemicals in the gum. And what about the boy who started this whole mess? He got suspended from school and his parents have disciplined him; we bet he’s not allowed to chew gum anymore!