They say there’s no such thing as a free meal, but fortunately that just isn’t true, you just gotta know where to look!” Here are some all free freebies!
Free Postage! Did you know blind people get free postage? Instead of sticking a stamp in the top left hand corner of the envelope these crafty sightless folks write, “Free Matter For the Blind or Handicapped.” Is this wrong for you to try? Heck, you may be “legally blind” and not even know it. Don’t throw away your rights!
Free Parking! All you have to do is get handicapped license plates. It’s easier than you think, especially in states like Wisconsin where the only requirement is “not being able to walk 200 feet or more without stopping to rest.” Just get some doctor to sign off on it (be sure to limp into his office) and you are set for life, parking like the big boss in the best space every time!
Free Tipping! Have you ever heard of “second-generation tipping?” It’s a wonderful money saver when you go out to eat. Simply take a tip off a nearby table and place it on yours. Your waiter gets a good tip, you get good service, everybody wins! If you feel especially generous, take 2 or 3 tips off other tables and put it on yours. Hey big spender!
Free Money for Being Impotent! Women have been paid to have sex for centuries, but did you know that men can be paid for not having sex? Centerwatch.com is a nationwide online listing of clinical medical trials. You can earn money for a variety of illnesses such as gout, IBS, depression, hair loss, diabetes, impotence and much more!
Free Student Stuff! A great web site for students is FreeStuffOnThe.Net. They have updated links to company web sites for free food, soaps, makeup, body wash etc… Another great site is Textbookx.com where you can buy new and used text books and get FREE SHIPPING on most book orders over $49!
Free Internet! I once dated the cousin of the guy who started Earthlink and got free internet (about the only good thing from that relationship!). Here’s an easier way, you can find free internet connections at public libraries, Whole Foods grocery stores and the Wi-Fi-FreeSpot Directory.
(Disclaimer: Warning, the above post contains comedy and satire and is not meant to be taken seriously, except by those who may be infuriated by its contents.)
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